Gawd, I just got ANOTHER email from that spamfest, Classmates.com. They've been spamming me for a while and now this bitch -- who was a cheerleader in high school so it's safe to say we weren't buds -- is also stalking me through them! Dah nerve! This summer will be the big ol' twenty-year reunion. I've safely avoided the first 19 and am planning on doing the same with this one, but still ... it's CREEPY!

I wanna hook up with my former high school class like I wanna repeatedly slam my hand in the car door. I'm thinking a day with Jeff Corwin and 1,000 death adders would be a lot more fun.

I had maybe six friends at bleak, freezing cold Elko High School. Most of them were either younger or older than me, which means fortunately they won't have this grand ol' Twenty Yearer inflicted on them.

Boy where does the time go when you're getting volleyballs hurled at your face in gym class and your best friend is past out drunk in her daddy's car?

-- Mz M.